"I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free." --Charles Dickens
Butterflies are Free. That's what I'm workin' on saying.
It's my monologue piece. About 2 minutes long and comical, yet also fearful and a little sad. In this piece, my character, Jill, is trying to convince herself into why she cannot become emotionally involved with the man she is falling in love with. She's made some silly mistakes, like being married for six days during high school, to none other than a guy named Jack...and from what I gather, she's the one who ended it. And the dread of her hurting someone else (or herself) is what keeps her from moving forward into love. Instead, she just "flies" from one place to another. In addition, she is also an aspiring actress, is constantly eating, and adores butterflies. Yes, I like her. She is messy and chaotic and beautiful and fun.
And there's something about her that feels like...me. I've been married for longer than six days, but I can relate to her fears of getting hurt and hurting someone else. It's that tugging and slugging that happens in a chrysalis. And, I can definitely relate to what a chrysalis feels like.
I finished monotonously memorizing my lines last week. Then, I spent some time doing a character analysis. And, low and behold, did my life become Jill Tanner's for the weekend. Very fun...and not fun at the same time.
I felt her anxiety and her low self-esteem. I considered if it was worth it to move forward into something that seems to be scary and perhaps very committing of myself. I looked at the two versions of a butterfly. There are butterflies that go from place to place not being committed to anything; those butterflies are "free". And there are butterflies that are committed to something, like love, and those butterflies are a deeper type of free.
Needless to say, this Jill Tanner, she and I became great friends this week.
I'll get to officially step into her shoes tomorrow...twice. 10 students + 1 teacher gawking at the experience. It'll be my time to SAY SOMETHING.
Would love to hear what you're workin' on saying...whether it's art or exercise or administrative or poetic...
P.S. Check out this blog. Amazing!
(corresponding song: Up by Shania Twain)
A favorite quote of mine which I always associate with butterflies is "I will write peace on your wings and fly all over the world." Doesn't it feel like that? When peace has finally settled on your ever searching spirit that you can finally feel free to be in the same place. At least that's how I feel. Whether it's unloading the dishwasher for the 80th time or running through a pile of leaves with my kids, if I have peace in my heart I'm so free to enjoy it! If the peace has not been written, or rather I haven't looked up... then it's work. I love your character and jumping right into it! Enjoy it friend.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could come watch you!!!
ReplyDelete