Happy Birthday, Howie!

(He's the one up top.)

Two years ago tomorrow, a little ball of white and sienna fur was born. Firstborn of a litter of 12, he graced Belle and Bear as proud parents of their first baby boy. It was about 2 weeks later when I got to hold this little hamster-seized puppy in my hands. He was the first one the breeder brought out, and I was in love. Even though I gushed over the 11 others she let me me hold, that first one...he had me at hello.

And so, four weeks later, we got to bring him home. He was at least 3 times the size of when we first met him. And, oh, so fluffy. I still remember my nose on his fur, the way he smelled like wood shavings from his little crate.

Then, we had the joy of crate training, potty training (not too bad actually!), and puppy training (um, we're still workin' on it). We got accustomed to saying "no bite!" as he eagerly held tight to the cuff of my pant leg or the arm of my sweatshirt. Then, as he got bigger, it turned into "no digging!" which was typically followed up by wiping muddy paws as he came in the back door. Oh, and then of course there was/is "Down!" as he most excitedly greets anyone who comes to visit.

But more importantly there is, "Good boy, Howie!" when he sits perked up at attention (his booty coming up off the ground slightly then back down, then up, then down) as he waits for us to walk in from our day of work, his tail waggin', and his big ole mouth smiling. Or there is "Gooooooood boy, Howie!" when he makes a ferocious bark at a passerby who he thinks is gonna cause trouble. And of course there's my favorite, "You're my Howie boy" when he leans his 130 pound body against my legs, and I bend down and give him a big bear hug around the neck.

He is our birthday boy, our "Noble Watchman", Ella's best buddy, and our neighborhood's favorite dog. He is our Howie. Happy Birthday, Bud!

(corresponding song: The Birthday Song by Happy Birthday Songs)

The F word.

I've had this battle with the F word during my life. I'm wondering if you have, too?

It's that little bugger....F.e.a.r...

He tries to keep me silent, tries to keep me sheepishly hiding under the covers, tries to keep me from moving forward. And you know what? I'm sick of it.

He thinks he's a big guy...trying to steal our joy...causing pain...and sickness. Trying to keep us from livin' Life.

My question is: Why have I believed your silly lies for so long?

Because, in reality, I could give a rip what you think.

You know why? Because "Perfect love casts out all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced His perfect love." 1 John 4:18

And I'm on the journey of Love. So, F word, buh-bye. Not nice knowing ya.

And she said
Ain't nothing gonna break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Oh no, I've got to keep on moving
Ain't nothing gonna break my stride
I'm running and I won't touch ground
Oh no, I've got to keep on moving

(Insert booty shakin', hair brush microphone-singin', freedom dance here.)

(corresponding song: I've got to keep on movin' by Men at Work)

The Big 3 plus 1

Remember when I told you about Ella's Big Three? Well, we now have a number 4. It's called "Dancin' in the Moonlight". It's actually a partial result of number 2, the magic paci. You see, as Ella has been learning the gentle art of self-soothing, she can easily put herself back to sleep in the middle of the night. I mean, I'm talking night feedings just went from three to 1/2 or none in the matter of a week with me doing nothing. Ahhhh, sleep is good. Now we're just waiting for that first tooth that is taking 3 months to come in. Oh, little tooth. Where are you? You play tricks on me.

Anyhow, back to number 4. I call it "Dancin" in the Moonlight" because, well, it's dark outside and we do a little dancin'. Ella now wakes up at 6 am on the dot because after 12 hours of sleep, who wouldn't? She's up! That magic paci did it's job over night and so there is no need to sleep in. So, we have this little system. David grabs Ella from her crib, puts her in bed with me, he gets ready for work, and then, I make a few last and desperate attempts to cuddle. Nurse? check. Paci? check. Lovey? check. But it no longer works. When she's up, she's up. And with a full and uninterrupted night of sleep, I can't really expect much else. So, she tugs on my hair...plays with my face...giggles.

So, we get up.

The first few moments are a little tough, not gonna lie. But then, the dark and cozy mornings just sweep me up. I figure, in 15 years, I'll be praying I still had one of these mornings with my curly-Q babe. So, we click the coffee pot on and put on some morning tunes. Then-- we dance. Sometimes it's the Beach Boys (one of Ella's personal favorites) and sometimes it's the Four Seasons. Today, it was King Harvest. And let me tell you, we cut a rug.

In the midst of a dark and moonlit morning, we glided across the hardwood floor belly to belly...and soaked up all the good stuff.

Happy Wednesday to you!

P.S. I'm sure you've already noticed that each of my blogs corresponds with a tune. I realized, though, that if you come in late and try to read an earlier post, the songs do not correspond as I've already moved on to the next one. So, if you're like me, and love a soundtrack to your life, I'll put the corresponding song on the bottom of each blog. That way, even if you come in late, you can still match them up easily!

(corresponding song: Dancing in the Moonlight by King Harvest)

Dust in the Wind

I woke up this morning to the sound of Wind. In fact, it is still blowing.

It is glorious.

There is something about nature that exemplifies the sovereignty of God. When a storm comes or when the wind blows, I am easily able to see the smallness of my world. I am able to see that what I think I can control, I cannot. And though the prying of control out of my hands can seem difficult and gut-wrenching, I have now come to recognize it as just and beautiful. There is a deep release in my spirit when I finally give up and let God do it. Or in fact, let God be it. Allow Him to be God.

For too long, I have made a shrine of small gods, thinking this will make me feel secure or that will make me feel safe or this will make me feel beautiful or worthy. In all reality, these are all my idols...they are my dust. How silly to make a god of an object made of wood or stone? That object or project or fantasy can in no way love me back. And even humans, though they are magnificent, will also not live up to the standard. At some point, everything will fall short. Everything except for one-- God.

The Wind reminded me of that today. I woke up with a sense of peace, yet turmoil. The turmoil of some things in my world, but the peace of a big God who can blow it all away. I recently can't get enough of the Bible. The words seem to be leaping off the pages straight into my heart. I have a whole new appreciation for the beauty and poetic nature that is written through men inspired by God. I came to Isaiah 57, and this was it. The emotions I was feeling were the same as God felt on these pages. Imagine the God of the Universe, creating the beauty of earth and people who dwell in it with the love of a Father waiting for His creations to come back to Him. In the meantime, all of them are lookin' for love in all the wrong places...

Isaiah 57

¹ Good people pass away;
the godly often die before their time.
But no one seems to care or wonder why.
No one seems to understand
that God is protecting them from the evil to come.
² For those who follow godly paths
will rest in peace when they die.

Idolatrous Worship Condemned

³ “But you—come here, you witches’ children,
you offspring of adulterers and prostitutes!
⁴ Whom do you mock,
making faces and sticking out your tongues?
You children of sinners and liars!
⁵ You worship your idols with great passion
beneath the oaks and under every green tree.
You sacrifice your children down in the valleys,
among the jagged rocks in the cliffs.
⁶ Your gods are the smooth stones in the valleys.
You worship them with liquid offerings and grain offerings.
They, not I, are your inheritance.
Do you think all this makes me happy?
⁷ You have committed adultery on every high mountain.
There you have worshiped idols
and have been unfaithful to me.
⁸ You have put pagan symbols
on your doorposts and behind your doors.
You have left me
and climbed into bed with these detestable gods.
You have committed yourselves to them.
You love to look at their naked bodies.
⁹ You have given olive oil to Molech^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]}
with many gifts of perfume.
You have traveled far,
even into the world of the dead,^{b]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]}
to find new gods to love.
¹⁰ You grew weary in your search,
but you never gave up.
Desire gave you renewed strength,
and you did not grow weary.

¹¹ “Are you afraid of these idols?
Do they terrify you?
Is that why you have lied to me
and forgotten me and my words?
Is it because of my long silence
that you no longer fear me?
¹² Now I will expose your so-called good deeds.
None of them will help you.
¹³ Let’s see if your idols can save you
when you cry to them for help.
Why, a puff of wind can knock them down!
If you just breathe on them, they fall over!
But whoever trusts in me will inherit the land
and possess my holy mountain.”

God Forgives the Repentant

¹⁴ God says, “Rebuild the road!
Clear away the rocks and stones
so my people can return from captivity.”
¹⁵ The high and lofty one who lives in eternity,
the Holy One, says this:
“I live in the high and holy place
with those whose spirits are contrite and humble.
I restore the crushed spirit of the humble
and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.
¹⁶ For I will not fight against you forever;
I will not always be angry.
If I were, all people would pass away—
all the souls I have made.
¹⁷ I was angry,
so I punished these greedy people.
I withdrew from them,
but they kept going on their own stubborn way.
¹⁸ I have seen what they do,
but I will heal them anyway!
I will lead them.
I will comfort those who mourn,
¹⁹ bringing words of praise to their lips.
May they have abundant peace, both near and far,”
says the Lord, who heals them.
²⁰ “But those who still reject me are like the restless sea,
which is never still
but continually churns up mud and dirt.
²¹ There is no peace for the wicked,”
says my God.

And so in the small world of my life, I apologize. I say...Let the Wind Blow...take it all. You can be God. I'll let go... and be swept up all at the same time.

(corresponding song: Dust in the Wind by Kansas)

The Song of all Songs

One of my favorite books in the Bible is the Song of Songs. It's poetic, beautiful, mysterious, and racy. Racy, you say? You bet. It's way better than Romeo and Juliet, even more delightful than Sleepless in Seattle, and has way more cooth than When Harry Met Sally. It's deep, profound...romance at its finest.

Is it funny to think that the Bible can be a love story? You may think so. After all, that's what we've been taught. Boring. Conservative. Rules. Abstinence. When in all reality, the God I've encountered has proven quite different. He's valiant, dangerous, adventurous, and above all--romantic. He woos my heart with a cool breeze on a Fall day, He gently reminds me that "All is well" on a rough day, He pursues my often faithless heart with tenderness and forgiveness. He's creative, knows more details about me than I do myself, and always has my best interests in mind---even when things don't seem to be going "my" way. Because, in fact, there is a Greater way than "my" way. It's the way the world has left behind...it's the way of intimacy, the way of Love. Down here, we're all about quick fixes, have-it-your-way, fulfill my desire for tonight but tomorrow I'll be on my way back to something or someone else. All the romance has been thrown out the window, no intimacy and no commitment.

It's when we finally get to a tattered and worn-out place, the desperation of an empty soul...the moment in life when we realize these quick fixes don't really satisfy that He woos us out of our desperation...because He, in fact, is the Creator, the God who initiates, the God of Hope.

And out of her loneliness, a woman cries back: "Take me away with you! Let's run off together! An elopement with my King-Lover! We'll celebrate, we'll sing, we'll make great music. Yes! For your love is better than vintage wine." (Song of Songs 1) And so begins a Love Story. Eight glorious chapters of the best romance novel I've ever read...and lived.

This morning, the ground was wet and the sky was still a bit dark. I rolled out of bed, poured a cup of hot coffee, and glanced out the window to see the beauty of another beautiful autumn morning. And my heart sang a song of thanks...for yet another sign of Love. I adore mornings like this. Cozy, peaceful, and romantic. Moments like this make the heart-ache worth it, gives fruit to the hard labor, and proves that pursuing intimacy is way better than any one-night stand. So, we press on...moving forward in Love. And this song, well, it just adds to the beauty and sentiment of my morning. Hope you enjoy it...and relish in the fact that on this Monday morning, You are Loved.

Paperweight: Joshua Radin and Schyler Fisk

Been up all night staring at you
wondering what's on your mind
i've been this way with so many before
but this feels like the first time
you want the sunrise to go back to bed
i want to make you laugh
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
happy to lay here
just happy to be here
i'm happy to know you
play me a song
your newest one
please leave your taste on my tongue
paperweight on my back
cover me like a blanket
mess up my bed with me
kick off the covers i'm waiting
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and no need to worry
that's wastin time
and no need to wonder
what's been on my mind
it's you
it's you
it's you
every word you say i think
i should write down
don't want to forget come daylight
and i give up
i let you win
you win cause i'm not counting
you made it back
to sleep again
wonder what you're dreaming

(corresponding song: Paperweight by Joshua Radin and Schyler Fisk)

Ella Junebug's Big Three

It's been a busy few weeks here at the Humphrey home. David's been rockin' with some big projects at work. I've been dabbling in some creative stuff at home...and well, Ella Junebug has been mastering a few tasks of her own. First one down sounded something like this: "Mom mum mum mum muuuuuuuuuuuum" to which my very happy heart responded "Yes, baby?!?!" Now whether she has any idea what she's saying matters not. What is most important is that the "Ella June First Word Poll" on our refridgerator has been quickly narrowed down from Daddy, Howie, Bug, Hi, and June to a word that makes a first time Mama really proud. I sometimes selfishly insist that she knows what she is saying-----except for at 2am when I hear a baby cry over the monitor followed by "Mom mummmm muuumm mum" while David smugly rolls over and says "She wants you." Pride comes before a fall perhaps? ;)

Next on the list has been the magic paci. I call it this because in the matter of one day, our Bug-a-lug starting putting her own paci in all by herself. I'd be doing a task, turn around, and the magic paci would be in her mouth. This happened time and time again until I caught her in the act. What a big girl! And I must say Mom and Dad really enjoy this new habit of hers and have a stash of pacifers scattered around her crib at night. Ella's new magic trick=better sleep for all of us.

Next on the list is the first crawl. Makes no difference that she goes backwards! (P.S. I heard this is actually quite common?). She started scooting a few weeks back, and now it's definitely a backward dance sometimes combined with a roll dismount. I have to say her technique is quite stellar; she'll be ready for the Baby Olympics in no time. Only downfall to this success is the fact that our Ronnie Roomba will be workin' overtime soon; Howie is not always the most tidy of roommates. If we could only train him how to sweep after he eats...

All that to say, we're all enjoying Fall...seeing a bit of harvest after a long and hot summer. Hope you are, too!

(corresponding song: Everything by Michael Buble)

This song just doesn't get old...

Nor do these giraffe pictures. Happy Weekend!

(corresponding song: Everything by Michael Buble)

No Dumping

I don't know about you, but sometimes I can have this dumping problem. No, not like #2. I'm talking about those days when something bad happens and then you spend all day poo-pooing about it. Either maybe you did an "open mouth insert foot" or got an attitude with your spouse or let a bad word out in front of your kid. Am I exposing too much here? Or maybe it's just one of those days where things just ain't goin' your way and instead of choosing to look at the glass half full, you choose to look at it half empty.

I am pretty sure that I have been guilty of all of the above at some point or another. And, well, being the dramatic soul that I am, I can tend to do over-kill on myself for a mistake. I now am realizing that I have choices. I can choose to stay in my poo-poo mood, or I can choose to walk out of it. I can choose to apologize, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive myself and then move on OR I can choose not to. If you're anything like me though, it's easy to be dumped on by someone else (then play the "I'm a victim" game for a few days), forgive them and go ahead with life. But if you've accidentally dumped on someone else, then it's a few MORE days worth of sulking before you actually forgive yourself (or stuff it down until it's forced to peak its ugly head at some awkward moment later). Ladies, you know what I'm talkin' bout...

Most of us have heard this verse before:

Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flows the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Easier said than done sometimes, right? But I don't think it would have be written had Solomon not realized it would be a fight. It's there specifically because it's the encouragement that we need in order to choose wisely. There are so many distractions that want to pull us away from doing this. Distractions that may sound like "I can't believe you did that" or "she's never gonna forgive you", or "way to be a jerk"...or on the other hand we have "things are just never gonna change," "life is gonna stay like this for-ev-er", or "this is just the way life is". Though we may have "been a jerk" at one moment or another, we don't have to sit and sulk in it (everyone has been a jerk at one moment or another). And though life may be hard in this moment, it doesn't mean that it won't change if we choose to grab ahold of some of that free Grace Jesus died to give us so we can look at our circumstances differently.

In fact, I think that many of us choose to go our own way and sit in a little algae filled pond looking at all bugs flying around instead of choosing to get on our free raft and adventure with the white water waves of Life. It's all about perspective. I am either the victim of my life who poo-poos around all day wondering why my pond is starting to look more like a swamp while watching the gators start to move in...or I am the victor in my life ridin' the waves through this cave and over that bump to my next thrill of a waterfall. I choose to guard my heart and live in the Wellspring of Life or sit in my own stank...if ya know what I mean.

All that to say, I think the River is callin' us (me included)...I have not yet been totally victorious in my efforts to jump in, but I'm not givin' up. And in order not to give up, God so sweetly sent me a reminder. This picture is from the gutter in my front yard. So freshly painted on it was this sweet love note from my Papa: "No Dumping. Drains to River."

So, here we go. In honor of my Grandpa Zip, I'm takin' his boat "Proud Mary" for a little ride today. Who's coming with me??!

(corresponding song: Proud Mary by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

The Book of Days

I am a bookworm. Writing and reading...two of my favorite loves since childhood. I would even play "Library" with my 50 million Little Golden Books (ok, maybe 50 million is a little bit of an exaggeration, but I had A LOT...50 million just happens to be my favorite number to over-exaggerate things--just ask David. When I'm really on a role, it turns to 50 billion gazillion.)

Anyway, back to bookworming. Let me just start out by saying God is way smart. He knew my adoring love for a good book, the way a writer's personality spills out onto the pages...letting you into the deep and fun and exciting adventures of a person's soul. It feels so good...so intimate...so community. Well, somehow in the midst of our 6th year of marriage, my hubby got an amazing job at one of the largest Christian publishing companies in the world (ok, that may be an exaggeration...but I'm 99.9% sure it's not). This little/big endeavor of his has made me a very happy girl because there are these wonderful things called "Advanced Reader's Copy" which means before a book comes out with all the bells and whistles, a few of these daddy's get passed out. The lucky ones get a copy to read it first. Now, I do have a competitive streak and love to relish on a little secret before it gets out to others...but what I mostly love about these advanced copies is this: after I read it, I get to go on amazon.com and wherever else I choose to write a stunning review of what I just read. Call me a nerd, but this is one of my favorite new hobbies. I've always had a love for being a job reference or writing a letter of recommendation...and this, well, just adds to the little spices of my life that I believe are worth celebrating.

With that in mind, I must share with you the book I am currently reading. From what I understand, this fantastic author is a regular Joe Schmoe like you and me. He had it in his heart to write a book awhile back...he gave it a go with some publishers and got a nasty turn down. So, he ended up tucking it away. Until last year, when my husband's company decided to publish his book. And you know what? That book ended up being the #1 book on Kindle. Can we say "deeeeestiny!" If you want to read it (and I totally suggest you do!), it's called "Rooms" by James L. Rubart. Now...all that to say...his next book is my current "Advanced Reader's Copy", and let's just say I am having a hard time getting my eyeballs un-glued from the pages. It's called "The Book of Days" based off the Bible scripture Psalm 139:16

"You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day."

I mean, just the Scripture verse alone saves me from years of therapy! Resting in the God who is, Who created, and Who redeems.

So with that, this book has been an absolute joy to read as we each sometimes struggle to understand our past, our present, and our future. There is something so beautiful when we step into the struggles of another; it opens us up, gives us room to breathe and to be. This is one of those books...and experiences. Here's Jim's website link if you'd like to check out more about him and his story!

http://www.jimrubart.com/

P.S. I just learned how to check the "stats" on my blog. There were 110 blog views from my posting yesterday. Way to make a newbie blogger feel good! I love you all, my 110 mystery blog readers!

(corresponding song: Beauty in the World by Macy Gray)

Blogging: Take Two

Alrighty, Folks. I'm giving it a second chance. Blogging: Take two.

I'm taking somewhat of a break from the social networking scene right now. Lord knows that I love all my friends...maybe a bit too much...but I needed some time away. Isn't it easy to get sidetracked by technology sometimes and then realize you aren't appreciating the beauty right in front of you to the fullest? That's how I started feeling last month....a tugging at my soul to pull away for awhile, to celebrate the creation around me, to get back to creating, and to be aware of all the beauty in my day-to-day life. This would bring me much needed rest.

Then, a very wise friend of mine said...."Why don't you start a blog? I still want to keep up with you and your fam!" Then it occurred to me, maybe some of you would like to take a rest, too? Partake of some of the sweet moments I am learning to relish. Why not share the Love, right? So, here I am.....I'm glad you're here, too. Let's drink up the good stuff...

Like these pictures of my bouncing, wild giraffe! What a hoot!

(corresponding song: Revolutionary Love by David Crowder Band)