Early Easter.

Lent is an interesting season.  It's the surreal mix of mourning and forthcoming joy.  This year, Lent has seemed more vivid to me than in any year's past.  I think it's because I'm on the brink of some major life changes.  I recently read a status update that stated that traditionally Lent isn't practiced on Sundays. At the time, I thought "Well, that seems strange."  Tonight, I see why.

The last few weeks I've seen God break through so many different areas with faith, and hope, and love.  I've seen sign after sign that the Easter celebration is just around the corner.  Resurrection Life is just around the corner.  In many ways, over the past year as I've contemplated the finished work of the Cross (you know, what He already did 2000 years ago), I've come to a new place in my belief system where I've realized Easter isn't just coming. Easter is already here.  He already did it. He already raised His life--and my life--from the dead.

And now, for me, it's just coming into fullness --because I'm seeing it for the first time with brand new eyes.

It's this beautiful place where what already happened that Easter Sunday 2000 years ago meets my present situation.  Make no mistake, it's been happening my whole life. I just haven't "seen" it like this before.  And, so, this year--even though there has been some mourning, I just can't keep my heart and eyes off Easter.  And this is where I realized those Sunday breaks come in during the Lent season.  It reminds me of "On the seventh day, He rested and declared that 'It was good'." It's where He so graciously deposits tangible evidence that the mourning has lead to joy.  It's a sign, if you will. A deposit.

It's says: "Easter is coming, Easter is here."

It's kind of like wearing sunglasses at night.

I wear my sunglasses at night
so I can
so I can
Watch you weave then breath your story lines.
And I wear my sunglasses at night
so I can
so I can
Keep track of the visions in my eyes.


Pretty profound, isn't it? The way He's always speaking to us?

Tonight, Ella woke up either because she bonked her head on the side of her bed or because she had a bad dream.  I'm not really sure which.  This lead to me scurrying my big, pregnant belly into bed with her (the advantages of a "big girl" bed).  I laid next to her as she quickly fell back asleep.  I attempted to escape once, but she woke up immediately, making it clear that she wanted me to stay.  So, I got back into her bed and laid there...wide awake. I had an emotionally taxing day yesterday, so I ended up going to bed at 7:30.  By this time, it was 3:30am.  After eight hours of sleep, I was awake.

And just where God wanted me.

I was somewhat hoping that my "pregnant awake" nights were coming to an end, afterall, I had been sleeping through the night again for over a week.  Until now. I knew what this meant. So, I cuddled up next to Ella, listening to her little snore, and I prayed.

And as usual, He made me cry. It was like He so graciously and gently tapped me on the shoulder and said "Time to release that pain, that longsuffering.  Easter is coming."

In my short 30 years, I realized I've lived through quite a bit of pain.  Longsuffering has been a fruit of the spirit that I have grown to know very well. In certain ways, it is a beloved gift.  It has become a friend and has given me the courage to never give up.  And yet, it is a bittersweet gift.  At times, that friend can want to stay around just a little too long. You know, over stay his welcome.  After I thanked him for his sweet ministry to me, I gently let him out the door so I could meet a new friend.  And in came his partner, Joy.  The wonderful thing about those who have known longsuffering is that, if they allow it, they can also experience the deepest of joy.  Even in the small things.

People often ask me how I can get so excited over a Cadbury creme egg. Um, how couldn't you? It tastes SO good. I relish every-single-bite.  I soak it in. That creamy center and chocolately goodness. All of it. I taste it all--no matter how big or how small.  If it's mine, I'm taking it. So, when it comes to Jesus--and His Resurrection, well, it's just the same thing. I can barely worship sitting still. Nope, that's me--over in the corner, leaping around like a lame person who just got healed. Again.

And that's how I feel about Joy.  About Easter.  It means that Longsuffering has come, done it's work, and now there is a reward.  Unstoppable Joy.  It's not fickle, it's deep in my guts.  It radiates.  It's like a roller coaster ride at Disneyworld. Arms up.  Screaming Loud. Stomach coming up through your throat as you excitedly plummet down that hill from the long climb.

It reminds me of a dream I had about 5 or 6 years ago.  I was in the front seat of a white rollercoaster. It ticked, ticked, ticked all the way up this huge hill.  On my right, there was a blinking sign that said "I Love NY". I already had my arms up, ready for the ride.

Well, just the other day, as I heard this song on the radio, I pulled into Smoothie King.  I was desperate for some fruit. I wanted some Easter now.  I stepped out of the car just as the car next to me pulled into it's spot.  I started to walk in, and a young guy, with a bright green shirt that said NYC on the front, held open the door, smiled, and said "After you."

If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know that for me, New York is a promise of Easter for me.  In and of itself, it's just a great city.  But connected to it for me, is destiny.  It shows up at just the right time in just the right ways.  It's a star, a sign, pointing me to where Jesus is. Because, well, Jesus loves NY, too. In fact, I'm pretty sure He came up with that slogan.

And the thing is, He knew while He was creating me that my DNA would mix perfectly with that city's--in order to make something great.  What exactly is it? I'm not totally sure yet.  I have some ideas but, really, I'm just going along for the ride.  Arms up. Life surrendered.  Stepping into what He has called me to be.

What is that for you? Is it a dream job, or a new baby, a new house, or reconciliation of some sort?  Does your body need healed or your heart need awakened? He wants to give you your longing.  He put it there in the first place.  It's your sign, leading you toward the Freedom that is Him.  The joy--after the cross--Easter.

Be blessed with Joy today as He moves you more toward Resurrection Life. (He's got the Moves like Jagger, you know.)