Believe

I've had this little buzz in my ear over the last few weeks.

Sometimes it whispers, "Believe".

And other times it shouts, "Didn't you see that? Believe!"

And still other times, it is a faint pulse of my heart where the beat of "believing" is engrained into my very being.  I was created with it inside me.  It's part of my DNA. Believe. Pulse. Pulse. Believe. Woosh. Woosh.

I can't really decide which encounter is my favorite because they all seem to catch me by surprise.  And each time, my heart starts to pump a little faster.  Most of the time I let out an obnoxious laugh or a "God, You so crazy!"

And all the while, any fiber in my body that has held unbelief or doubt quickly seems to cease.  Sometimes like a white knuckled grip releasing and other times like a blooming flower.

Either way, I am being transformed.

God starting showing me the number 44 several months ago.  Actually, its more like I started noticing that God was showing me the number 44 several months ago.  I knew it meant something for me.  Because this number 44 was present during very important times in my life.  44 happened to be the folder number that held the pictures of my baby girl being born.  Broadway and W. 44th Street happens to be my special spot in NYC; it's a big dream of mine to live and work there.  44 also happens to be the last two digits of my address.  You get the picture.

44 seemed to follow me.  And then, last month, as I started to "believe" for some things, 44 has had babies.  I mean, everywhere.

"Well, hello, 44! How are you today?"

"Oh, 44. Thanks for showing up.  I needed some hope today."

"44 again? Wow, God, you must really be telling me something."

44 degrees was the temperature every time I checked.  It was also the time every time I looked, 5:44 then 7:44, then 9:44.  And then, the big one.  My blog.  After a very intense dream about none other than me "believing", I woke up and decided to check my blog stats.

4,444.

And for whatever reason, I had no readers all day....and it stayed that way ALL day.

As evening rolled around, I was telling my husband about these 4's and what I felt they meant. He paused my explanation to go flip our burgers on the grill.  As the burger sizzled, I hear a "Saaaaaaaaaaraah!"  I went running outside to find out what the scream was about.  And in my backyard is a full rainbow that covered the entire sky.  And not only that, but in the midst of 5 minutes, it turned into a double rainbow.

BELIEVE.

And, so, though this story could go on and on and on.  I leave you with this.  Yesterday, we went to the chiropractor.  Here was our number.

Afterward, Ella and I went to pick up Howie's food.  As I am texting my friend the picture I took at the chiropractor, I look up to see this.

God, You so crazy! Believe. 


(corresponding song: Don't Stop Believing by Journey)