Dancin' with the Stars

Last night was a really good night.  After the baby went down, I sat on the kitchen counter next to the stove as David sauteed our cabbage and noodles.

And we talked.

About hopes and dreams.  And the steps to see them come alive.  And even more than the steps but the GRACE to see them come alive.

I've had a crazy few days.  Living in two worlds a little bit.  On the one hand, we have option 1.  God and waiting.  Patience turning into perfection.  On the other hand, we have option 2.  Let's run around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to make things happen.

I would strongly encourage choosing Option 1.

Option 2 really has no fruit.  And it only serves to turn you (me) into a raving lunatic in need of a sugar fix and "quiet time".

What I've realized is that we are constantly in a battle here.  Let go and let God or try-as-hard-as-you-can-and-get-nowhere.  This is the choice every day, and when you are called to a season of "waiting", the choice is really evident pretty much all day long.  By evident, I mean, all day you seek the "rest"of waiting.  And, yet, the distraction to "make it happen" is everywhere in front of you.  Competing for your attention.

Then, you start second guessing everything.  The Bible calls this doublemindedness.  Now, doublemindedness and I have had somewhat of a history.  And he tried coming back around after I had kicked him to the curb.  How rude!

So, at this point, it was time for a heart to heart."Who cares if you disagree! You are not me. Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?"

Thank you, Sara Barielles, for your timely lyrics.

And, as I sat on the kitchen counter watching David cook us up some scrumptious dinner, I crumbled.  A few tears.  Pouring out the little war that had been going on in my heart.

Let me tell you, the entertainment industry is not for the faint of heart.  You want to find out who you are, try this profession (and many others...not meaning to sound trite). You'll find out.  And it will either make you or break you.  Sometimes, both.  But in the breaking is the making.

And though on certain days, it has its "Oh my gosh, why in the world did He call me to this career? Couldn't He have picked something easier?"  At other moments, while expressing your battle with your own head, you look up at your husband who is stirring your dinner, and out of your mouth pops "I really wanna be on Dancing with the Stars." And mean it.

What the what?

Yes. In the midst of the battle, the real desire is revealed.  What that pesky doublemindedness was trying to cover up. And, then, not many moments later comes the GRACE.

The, "Ok, God, I've now put this one on my list.  I'm agreeing with my spirit and Yours. Really looking forward to watching You do it."  And you mean that, too.  Your spirit starts to really have the faith for the impossible.

A few moments later, you turn on ABC to watch the Season Premiere of Dancing with the Stars.  And what song is the first dance?

You know it.


I'm riding this Grace wave all the way into shore*, baby.


What are you wishing for?


Happy Tuesday!




*Credit Mary Branche.



(corresponding song: King of Anything by Sara Barielles)