Can't Touch This

I'm bringing back the Hammer Pants.

You know it!

Let me rewind.  It started last August 1.  My birthday.  I received a card in the mail from my brother and sister-in-law.  It was one of those cards we all love.  You know, when you open it up, it plays a song.  Well, my birthday card had a fun little guy on the front.  It said "Another birthday? It's ok.  You're too cool for time to touch!"  When you opened it up, it played none other than "Can't Touch This!"  Now, as most people would laugh while opening a card like this, I did, too.  At first.  A few seconds later, it turned into tears.  Not of sadness.  But of joy. And of Love.  A kiss from Heaven.

God had been speaking to me in a season of so-called drought.  He had been talking to me about redeeming the time.  Though I am not much of a person who lives in regret, there was some time that had been "stolen" that I still sometimes brewed over.  Why did that happen?  Why did I waste that time? Why did I make that choice?  Instead of going with my guts, I chose to man-please, to be "realistic", and to walk away from myself. It wasn't necessarily a conscious choice; it was the choice of a wounded girl, searching for purpose, and listening to voices that were loudest at the time. But still, I've always wondered.  Does that make me inadequate now? Those talents and gifts and desires that were legitimate when I was younger, are they still legitimate even though I took "a break"?  Though God continued to give me a resounding "Yes", I still had a battle within myself to believe.

Enter early February.  Without going into too much detail (because it would result in a whole other blog post), I bring you to confirmation number 2: in the form of a physical miracle.  I was in a "church" meeting if you will.  This meeting just happened to be about taking back what the enemy had stolen in our lives.  Let me be clear.  Just like I believe there is a God, I believe there is a devil.  And he is a jerk.  Everything good, he attempts to take. He kills, he steals, he destroys.  He is not my friend.  And as my freedom and light increase, so do his attempts to keep my light dim.  And let me just tell you, he ain't so tricky.  I'm onto his schemes.  But sometimes, on those days where he comes at me hard, its easy to ask doubt-filled questions instead of faith-filled ones.  Previous to this meeting, he'd been at my heels.  Bringing up doubts, reminding me of mistakes, encouraging me to be sad. By the end of this meeting, after being reminded of the perfect Grace and restoration we get for free through Jesus, I decided in my heart: "It's payback time!" A few minutes later, I was prayed for.  Not knowing an inkling about me, the man praying for me proceeded to read my mail and speak directly into what had been stolen for me.  Moments later, I walked away with a physical manifestation of healing in my body.  Not like "I think that happened", I'm talkin' double stamped, watched-it-change-before-my-very-eyes happen.  Because God is that good.

Enter confirmation 3: called "Ok, I really believe now".  I have been taking a course called "Return to Divine Design" with a sweet mentor/friend.  We had quite the session the other day.  Looking at different areas of my heart, checking in with where I am in my journey back to myself.  In this session, this "time" that I mentioned earlier came up.  Though I had searched for ways to "make it right" by apologizing to God for time away, I had never, until this day, apologized to myself.  Told myself I was sorry for leaving.  It was in an instant, as I watched myself reconnect, that it sunk.  Tears came.  Reconciliation. The missing link.  What happened later was nothing short of another miracle.  My mentor friend, without knowing anything (aside from the Spirit of God), writes me a Facebook message. "U can't touch this!"

And, in the matter of a moment, I watched years that the locusts had eaten turn into provision.  And not just in my heart.  But in real Life.

Watching.miracles.happen.in.my.everyday.life.  That's the God I know.




(If you liked this, you'll get the full scoop in my book. It's coming down the pike. Yay!)

(corresponding song: You Can't Touch This by MC Hammer)