There's a Misty Edwards song that I love that goes something like this: "He's gonna turn it all around, just wait and see. He's gonna make everything beautiful just in time."
Oh, yes. It it what we have clung to the last 9 months at our house. Our sweet Baby Red is coming just in time. This pregnancy has had it's similarities and it's differences from Ella. All in all, I think it's been physically easier--except for the first trimester (you don't want to know)...and yet emotionally and spiritually, this baby girl sure is a mover and a shaker.
I often wonder if many people really understand what it takes to carry another human spirit. Sure, we're pregnant. We create a human being in our bodies and carry it until it's born--that's a miracle in and of itself. And an understatement.
But with carrying a human being, we also carry a human spirit. We carry a double dose of God for 9 months. Double portion. Double grace.
She's changed me. And I don't take her existence in my womb lightly.
She's changed our circumstances. She's changed the way I look at things. Her spirit interacting with mine, pulling out the fibers of who I was created to be--long before I may have even realized it. And not only mine, but everyone else that she comes into contact with.
That's just how valuable Life is.
I often sit and watch Ella. Her prophetic nature is so wise and discerning. She has so much to say and so much to express--if given the opportunity. Oftentimes, I end up realizing it is more in my responsibility to foster how she was created rather than to "parent" her. Yes, there are definitely times she needs discipline, but most of the time, she just needs the space to be nurtured. The way I see it, she's closer to Heaven than I am. I've had 30 years of backtracking under my belt--but her? She was just there. And her uncanny wisdom flows like a River...
That's how I feel about this baby girl coming. Her spirit has already shifted our family more towards the supernatural and away from the natural. Her very presence shaking things up. Her essence so close to the Creator that when she arrives, it will change us forever. Isn't that just like God?
Throughout my pregnancy, she's caused us to take more risks that we thought we ever would. The intercession and passion she carries is unlike what we've known up to this point. We've jumped into the abyss of the unknown--into the land of Faith. If red is the color of Jesus, then she is teaching us that. The unpredictable, yet full of nurture, Jesus. Red.
No one would have thought He would have died that death--even though He told us He would.
And, no one, thought He'd come back to life to tell about it.
And, yet, we all do. Or--we all have the opportunity to do so.
It's like carrying a baby. First trimester, you just feel sick. And no one even knows your pregnant. Your immune system takes a toll because this human it's helping to create sucks all the living energy and umph out of you. You hold onto that porcelain throne for dear life. And for "fear" of not making it through that first trimester, you usually only tell a few people what special beauty you are carrying. You're just laying your life down--for this beautiful hope to come forth.
And then comes the second trimester. You are refreshed--and alive! The bump is taking shape, and it's becoming obvious that life is forming. As you grow, you prepare. And more people start asking about the bowling ball that is protruding from your shirt. You can then find out if it's a boy or girl--if you want. You can think of names and identify how God has marked her character.
And then it's time for the third trimester. The land of waiting and getting huge. Your pelvis starts to loosen, and heartburn is your best friend. Water is your saving grace. You drink and drink and drink--to keep away the swelling. Desperate for Living Water. Oh, Jesus. You're the only one getting this baby out of my body. I think I've said the phrase "Sweet Jesus" more in the last month than I ever have---ever. He's all we've got.
As if the physical portion isn't enough, there's also the emotional side and the spiritual side. We are three parts: spirit, soul, and body. Yes, my body houses her body--but it also houses her emotions--and it houses her spirit. Her spirit. That place where she connects with God. I house that?
Yes. It's the great miracle of creation--and creativity. When God said, "Let there be..."
And so I learn to follow His example. Dying a death and birthing a life. But somewhere in the following, I realize that following isn't even the best term anymore. Somewhere in the process, I've finally and graciously realized what He's been telling me all along--I'm no longer following. I'm co-laboring. We are partners---connected in divine Union. There is no separation between us. We are one. He took care of it all--no need to "follow". We are married. By Red.
So, instead of my false rationalization of Faith that is often mixed with fear and unbelief and false humility, I just jump in. Obedience is no longer my guiding point--but a steward. Instead, Passion has taken over. I'm plunged into His very essence. It's the most beautiful of all Love Stories. Being one with God. Coming Home.
My natural body meeting His supernatural body. Fully God and Fully Man.
Jesus.
The bread and the wine.
He's been a co-conspirator with my baby girl. Loving me Life. Loving our family to Life.
Oh, Sweet Jesus. We restfully and excitedly wait for Your arrival. For her arrival.
There is so much good to embrace now--and so much more to look forward to.......
See you soon, sweet girl.
Beautiful!!!
ReplyDelete