Addicted.

Yes, yes, I am.

Everyone has their vice.  And most of the time, that vice is not necessarily life-giving.

It oftens falls in the category of cigarettes, booze, sugar, drama, you name it.

But the last few years, I've fallen into a new "trap".

It's my Love addiction.

This trap has all the perks.

And it's free-ing to join.

It doesn't necessarily always come easy.

It often comes with some correction, some molding and shaping, some honest conversations, and some times of heartfelt, self-evaluation.

But it's always for the betterment of me, for the increase in my quality of life.

Some call it pruning, some call it refining.  It can probably most accurately be called parenting.

From one Abba Father to one child of the King.

And it's with each gentle prod or large swoop that this Love addiction grows stronger.  The need for it grows more intense.  And the joy of Life becomes available.

This month, we've gone through a series of loss.  One right on top of the other.

In the natural, it would be easy to say it was time to close off our hearts.  To shut down.

But this Love addiction pulls us into the exact opposite.  Even though the defense mechanism says to close down, my heartstrings can't help but to open up.  To receive.

The Bible says you get double for your trouble.  And I believe it.

"Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you." --Zechariah 9:12

I like double, don't you?

It seems as though many people are experiencing a plethora of troubles right now.  Most everyone I've talked to is walking through things, difficult things.  Challenges that are really uprooting.  They cause us to question our identity, who we really are, what we really believe about ourselves, about life, about God.

My theory...the dark side is getting pretty scared.  I see the light growing stronger and stronger.  I see Love about to burst forth; lots of flowing rivers.  And when that's about to happen, the losing team always tries to discourage...grasping at any possibility to throw us off course.

And so, I've resolved in my heart NOT to be thrown off course, but intstead to "press on to the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14)".  And, in reality, there really isn't any other choice.  My addiction has taken over.  I'm in search of more Love; I need my fix.

I am learning the art of being satisfied in the moment, yet constantly looking for the next level of Love.

It's a paradox.  I'm not totally yet there.  But what I've experienced is really, really fulfilling.  And it makes life really, really rich.

So, I'll keep you updated.  Cause it's always a surprise, and I really have no idea what I'm doing.  And I kinda like it that way.

(corresponding song: Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer)