Half-Way There.

I started to write this blog almost a week ago.  I got the idea for this particular blog probably over two weeks ago. I put "blog" on my To Do list even though there was no way I would forget to write it.  It's been on my insides, gnawing away at my soul.  And yet, I haven't been able to find the words to actually write it.  I'd have one idea and then realize that it wasn't really going that direction, only to get another idea and realize it wasn't really going that direction either.  In all reality, it has been a string of revelation over the last few weeks...in between tears, and joys, and hormones. Doctors say that hormones surge yet again in a pregnant women's third trimester.  My husband is their witness. Poor guy. It sure is a good thing he loves me and knows that I usually don't live in "crazy town" all the time. When I sharply responded to him that "3rd trimester hormones increase at a rapid rate--just so you know" after he simply asked why I was being so "mean", I had to laugh. And so did he. And then I let my stress go. Just as amazing as this Easter dotes me with momentary lapses of inexpressible joy, I think the suffering of Lent was in close second the two weeks.

Holy Moly.

Rolling away the stone is no joke, people. I'm exhausted.

Being un-offended is not as easy as it sounds.  For those of you just catching up, I started making a Red List of people in my life I needed to forgive. Ouch. You might not want to do that nonchalantly. It will then rock your world---because in the midst of you moving toward forgiveness with them, all hell breaks loose.  The enemy pulls out the "big guns".  Even if you haven't talked to them in years, or months, or whatever, those offenses seem to come crawling or slamming right back into your face--or shall I say, my face.

As it all started to pile up, I had yet again--a choice.  It was like a stanky-breathed demon was there sitting on my shoulder-- "You really want to let that go? That was really awful. And you were blindsided, you had no right to be treated that way."

"Um, yes please, I'd still like to let it go...especially cause your breath is rank! Now please leave me the freak alone, so I can get back to work!"

And so, after about of a week of that, I was finally able to move forward a little bit easier.  That stanky breathed thing was just guarding his territory, scared about where I was busy going.  To Skull Hill.  He knows what happens after Good Friday.

Three days of silence. Rest.

And then,

Easter.

The way I see it, I'm at a turning point in my little journey. I've gotten through what feels like the worst of this transition. The Bible says we go from glory to glory. Yes, indeed.  And in between those two glories is usually fire.

Fire has this brilliant quality to it. It is warm and inviting, we can make smores with it, it cooks our food.  And yet, it is All Consuming. God was often described as the All Consuming Fire.  In His love, we are burned alive.  The dross can then be easily smudged off, and what remains is a beautiful, shiny piece of gold.

Easter.

Resurrection.

There is communion with Jesus in suffering that is so intimately divine.  It's not punishment. It's sharing.  We often have looked at our lives going haywire and wonder "Am I a horrible person? Why is this happening? What did I do wrong?" When in all reality, it's an invitation.  To share....

In brokenness, in humility, in forgiveness.

We can only be intimate with someone to the extent that we share ourselves. To the extent of our vulnerability with another person.  Jesus is no different. He is not high and lofty, He is closer than a brother. If anyone knows suffering, He does.

And if anyone knows Joy, He does.

Remember? Those who have often experienced the most pain in life are often those, who when they choose to, can receive the most joy.

I don't know about you, but I bought myself a 4 pack of Cadbury Creme Eggs on Sunday.

Joy.

So far, I've eaten 2. I'm halfway there. And I am so looking forward to savoring the next 2. I know I'll crave them at just the right time I need them.

Nails couldn't hold him down, and they won't hold me down either. Nor will stanky breathed demons who are trying to guard their territory and make me turn around.

I'm busting in.

You're busting in.

Easter is coming.  Easter is here.

Happy Tuesday, ya'll!!

(More coming.....soon.)