Say.

I'm in a dark room.

I scream out.

No one hears me.

I scream louder.

In You come.

You hear me.

You validate me.

You've created my voice--
To speak of Yours.

"Hold it down. Hold it closed. Shush!"

It says from across the room.

I'm in a chair.

My hands are tied.

"Lies! Lies!"

It spews and spells.

"Shut her up!"

And in You've walked.

Confident and full of poise.

You take out the gag drudged through my mouth.

"What would you like to say, my dear?
The mic is yours; now have no fear."

"What I'd like to say,"
I reveal from my heart
"Is that Your Kingdom is coming and from You I won't part.
You've changed my life; pronounced me free.
And there won't be anything that can stop me
From telling all of your Love and your Grace
And that at your Table,
There is always a place
To eat and to drink
From the fairest of fare
To breathe and to laugh
To enjoy and to see
It comes with a price
But really it's free-er than free."

~~~~~~~

Ever feel like there is a gag in your mouth? Like you have so much to say but you can't get it out?  I used to have dreams like that a lot.  I was trying to shout, asking for help, or trying to say something important--and I couldn't get anything out.

This piece of writing above actually came out of a dance I did a few years back for a creative conference.  Not only were my hands tied, but my feet were tied, my eyes were covered, and my mouth was gagged.  And there was also a person dressed in black continually tying me up...spewing at me every thing that kept me bound.  My only part in the process was whether I chose to believe that person or not.  As Truth came into the picture, you can see what happened.

Being tied up and gagged is a really horrible way to feel.

And, yet, I think most of us have felt this way from time to time.  In one way or another.

You have something to say, but something holds you back.  And so you spend years and years holding things in, not only the emotions and what you have to say, but also the attached resentment, bitterness, disappointment, and hope-deferred that comes along with not saying it.  And instead of feasting, you get by only through nibbling on the crumbs under the table.

Because, after all, it's not easy to eat a fancy steak dinner with a gag in your mouth.

Expecting that crumbs is all you get.

It seems that for some of us, it feels like we've been in quite the hovering cycle.  Around and around we go.  Getting a small breath of fresh air or a little bit to eat here or there, but nonetheless, still continuing to hover.

Fortunately, I have a feeling that's all about to change.  I've definitely walked through cycles where my gag decreased in it's grip around my mouth.  I was able to say more and get more to eat.

But the gag was still hanging in there.

And, yet, as we enter into this Christmas and into a New Year, I have a renewed sense of faith to Believe.  If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you might remember me referencing the number 11, as in 2011, as Biblically representing "transition".

And transition we did.

Do you want to know what the number 12 means? Perfection of government or otherwise put, a divinely constituted organization.  In laymen's terms, it means that the time of transition must have gotten us somewhere.  And, for us, that somewhere lies in 2012.

I understand that every new year has the hope of bringing something fresh and new...

But this year feels different. Doesn't it?

I know it feels different to the 30 people that we are praying for this Christmas.  They have messaged me prayer requests in which to believe out of sheer faith.  Some of these are big ones.  They involve a complete change in lifestyle, an absolute miracle, and/or a big leap into a land unknown.  They are banking on the fact that this past year of transition has prepared them for what is being divinely ordered in their path for 2012.

They are done eating small crumbs, and they have instead asked for the steak.

Gag out. They have something to say.  And they have something to ask for.

No longer believing that their inheritance is to hover but believing that they have something to gain, and they have something to give.

Because with feasting, comes sharing.

We're not tied up just for our own misery.  We break free from the ties for our own lives, but we also break free to give food to someone else.

And that's why we eat together at the dinner table.

Someone always needs to hear a story of Hope. As humans, we simply can't get enough of it. We were made for it.

So, as we make room in our hearts for that sweet babe to be born in us again this year, I pray not only for myself but for all of you...that we would receive the grace to say what we need to say, to ask for what He's calling us to ask, and to share with one another the process.

Let's feast!!