Dreams.

I've been thinking a lot about dreams lately.  Go figure. I am a dreamer. A sillyheart. I love to think about HOW BIG something could be, how possible God can make the seemingly impossible.  It's just how I am programmed.  Classic visionary.

But you know us visionaries, sometimes we have trouble getting started, implementing, and following-through.  (This is where I suggest marrying an implementer and administrative genius.  I did, and he kindly gives me nudges when I need it. Thank God!)

You can say that I have been born with a perpetual generational defect called procrastination.  Most often, I think it comes from a fear based place.  You know, I dream big and put my "faith" out there, and then when it's time to take a step, it just might take me awhile.

"Peter, it is I...step out onto water."

"Are you a ghost? I don't know if I.....Um, I think I've gotta go to the bathroom first."

Oh, Peter. You of little faith.  You must be the brother of Sarah.

But really, ever notice that the reason Peter fell was not necessarily because he took his eyes off of Jesus but possibly because he didn't believe in himself the way that Jesus believed in him?

I have heard the argument that Jesus doesn't believe in us; it's all about Him.  Though there may be some sort of a small streak of wisdom in that, I think it's really easy to make it "so about Him" that we lose who He made us to be in the process.  Ever notice that when you're constantly obsessed with repairing yourself and working on your humility because you want do something for Him, that you are actually just working out of a religious spirit?  He doesn't want people to do things for Him, He wants us to do things with Him. I've been subtly releasing my white-knuckle grip to allow Him some space to love me out of that mentality for, um, awhile now.

Anyway, back to that dreaming.  I have to say I like it.  I've come into this season where I'm learning what it means to step out onto that water.

One step at a time.

And finally, all those dreams and prayers, are starting to hatch....like a bunch of eggs in a chicken basket.  And each one requires only a little effort on my part.  Usually just the exchange of proscrastination for faith.  I just say no to the one and hello to the other, like a gift that is just plopped into my lap.  And I've noticed, that as each little egg hatches, I have a physical manifestation of the peace that was already mine to lay hold of...that really I had just been procrastinating to receive. I just had to simply let go...of the procrastination, of the excuses, of the fear.  And I had to give voice to the hope, and faith, and love that was ready to be birthed.

I have this amazing Mama friend named Christine.  And you know what she said? She said that if we don't release the intercession that we're holding, it becomes toxic in our bodies.

Our own procrastination kills us. (emphasis mine)

In a world where ugliness often abounds, the earth (and our bodies) are just waiting for that hope to be released.  It's healing....in a sick world.

So, when you think of a great idea, and you want to implement it but get caught up in that..."I don't know if I could do that", just change your mind, and let it out...receiving Hope, not only for yourself, but also for whoever might stumble upon your idea fulfilled.

It's just taking that step.

...and then watching His face shine as you walk out on the water.

Spirit to Spirit Parenting: Part 3

As promised, some practical tips on how to nurture your spirit and to also nurture your cutie patootie kids' spirits.

Sometimes I struggle with the practical, I am much more of a daydreamer.  So, though to some of you these may seem like common sense, let me assure you, they were not part of my common sense.

It's important first to understand the differences between your spirit and your soul.  Here is the easiest way for me to describe it, your spirit is the husband and your soul is the wife.  When your spirit, which is the head, is nurtured and charged up, the soul can then come underneath the spirit into a place of rest, fulfilling what needs to be fulfilled under a proper and healthy covering.  Sometimes as wives, we tend to want to be in front (oh wait, is that only me?) and then what happens, a hot mess.  Everything is out of wack, your husband is frustrated, you're frustrated. Riiiight.  But when he is filled up, he encourages you to also fill up and rest, free to express yourself and care for yourself in ways that re-charge you...and vise versa. Both spirit and soul are equally important, it's just that they have different roles.  The spirit was meant to take the lead.

So, how do you nurture your spirit? Well, I'm sure there are many ways, and I'm still learning, but here are a few ways that I use to nurture my spirit.

First things first, I call my spirit to the front.  It's ok. You can speak to yourself and to your spirit. I promise, it's a good thing. For those who are the sensitive type, you may even feel a shift or butterflies in your stomach.  Then, I usually have a small prayer I do that goes something like this: (feel free to pause as you feel things shifting--no need to hurry)


I call my spirit to attention in the Name of Jesus, I now ask my soul to step aside, and I call my spirit to the front. I bless my spirit in the Name of Jesus. I now call my soul to attention. I bless my soul in the Name of Jesus. I ask my soul to come behind my spirit. I now call my body to attention, I bless my body in the Name of Jesus.  I ask my body to come behind my soul, which is behind my spirit.  I ask for divine alignment between God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and my spirit, soul, and body. I ask for fresh infilling and indwelling of the Holy Spirit to be with me throughout the day.

Whew. I feel better already. It's like a chiropractic adjustment.  (I have a longer version of this prayer that is just wonderful. If you want it, just email me!)

Next on the list...

Spirit Blessings: These are amazing and have probably been one of the best ways to change a bad day around quickly.  I went through these two books in order, and I was touched the way God lined each blessing up exactly with what was going on in my day.  With your spirit already in the front, you are all ready to soak up some blessings through your WHOLE being.

Here are two fantastic resources: Here and also Here.

There is even a sample blessing that you can read through before you possibly choose to purchase one.

Just by doing this, especially in the morning, I can start my day off feeling full and rich and with a lot to give to my hubby, Ella, and Howie. ;)

Some other ways I nurture my spirit throughout the day include:

Participating in some creative medium whether writing, dance, acting, etc. You can choose whatever activity makes you feel nurtured.

Read the Bible with my spirit up front.  It's amazing what you'll see that you didn't notice before.

Pray in my prayer language.  Paul said he prayed in tongues to edify and build himself up. Yup. So, if you have one, feel the freedom to do so. It works. And quickly. And you can even do it when washing the dishes or scrubbing the kitchen floor.

Make time to hang out with big-spirited people.  You know who they are.  And when you find a friend who is also nurturing his or her spirit, your relationship goes to a whole different level.  I think it's the community and intimacy that we are all looking for in friendships, and in marriage, and in family. Spirit to spirit is much deeper than soul to soul.

Bless someone else's spirit.  It is as easy as a simple compliment (that is genuine--not flattery) that validates who they are, or you can read a blessing from one of the books above to another person, or you can bless someone spontaneously with what comes to you in the moment.  David and I often take time to read blessings over each other and over Ella from the books mentioned above. It never gets old. Just think of how many times in the Bible people were waiting to be blessed or to receive the inheritance. Jesus died, so we can ALL receive infinite blessings and our inheritances.  But so often, people just don't know where to find them. Be blessed!

As far as the kiddo's go, I love to read and write my own blessings over Ella.  I also like to include her when I'm doing something that nurtures my spirit.  I love to dance, so I bring Ella along to dance with me.  Most often our kids will have some interests that are similar to ours, and that brings an opportunity for us to connect on a deeper level.  In fact, David's been learning to play the guitar.  And when he takes it out to play, even just the beginning chords he's learning, Ella immediately starts to dance. It's so beautiful.  It's spirit to spirit.

I also try to be very intentional of blessing Ella directly in the eyes.  She is a toddler, so they are often quick ones, but it is so very sweet when our eyes meet, and I say "I just love you!" or "You're so wonderful!"  There is something supernatural about eye contact; it opens up our spirits to one another.  David and I laugh sometimes because Ella often stares at people...strangers, friends, whoever....right in the eyes. She's always seeking a more intimate place of knowing someone because that's what she knows.  People think she's having a staring contest, but really, she's just getting to know them. ;)

I also try to have playdates for Ella with other kids who are big-spirited.  Just like we need time with friends who nourish us, so do our kids.

And most importantly, I live out of my nurtured spirit as best as I can as often as I can.  When Ella is around me when I am flourishing, she automatically flourishes.  She is in the copy cat stage, and she's looking to her parents to know how to live.

And last but not least, be flexible. I don't do all of these everyday.  Realistically, some days are better than others, but I try to do at least several things to nurture my spirit and Ella's spirit everyday.  And I leave myself open to new things.  Sometimes it's driving with the windows down, sometimes it's a movie, sometimes it's new music.  It's different every day, but for me, I love the variety because it keeps me constantly searching for something new.

We've been nurturing our spirits intentionally for about four years now, and I have never felt more alive.  It's amazing how our perspective shifts and how miracles occur when our spirits are up front.

So, all that to say...I hope your spirit's are nourished and nurtured today!!!

(A picture of Ella helping me choreograph a dance with fun fabrics and one of Ella dancing to Daddy's song)

Spirit to Spirit Parenting: Part 2

I love prophetic pictures throughout daily life.  God gives us such a beautiful gift of "seeing" as we become parents that was often lacking before we became parents.  I love that I get to re-claim my own childhood while parenting. It is such a gift.  To Him, we will always be kids.  Though our relationship changes as we grow more mature throughout life, I never want to forget who I am.  I am His kid.  He will always be the caretaker, provider, and nurturer in the relationship.  I will always first be the recipient, and after being the recipient, will then be able to give back to Him and to others.

Onto my exhibit A of the day....

It is a beautiful day outside, and I wanted to be able to take Ella to the park to make up for all the hot days this summer where we needed to stay inside.  So, as is our routine, I say to Ella "You want to go upstairs?" She happily toddles over to the staircase and waits for me to take the gate down--knowing that it is a special treat when she gets to climb the stairs.  We get to the top of the staircase, and I tell her it's time to get her diaper changed so we can go to the park.  She knows what diaper change means and also knows that she'd much rather run around having me chase her into the closet or behind the rocking chair than get her said diaper changed. As I was trying to to catch her, I automatically sensed God closely by.

"Quite a picture, isn't it?" He said.

Here I was, wanting to take Ella to the park, wanting her to enjoy her day, and there she was avoiding the one thing that needed to take place before she could bask in the fun.  Cleaning up that poop.

We all know the famous children's book, "Everybody poops." Oh, do we.  And thank God He is kind enough to change our diapers.  But how often do I, when posed with a day of fun at the park choose to avoid the cleansing process that must come beforehand?

Oy.

Instead, I whine and grovel about how un-fun it is to get my diaper changed.  I run and hide behind the rocking chair, thinking maybe He won't see me...or I go into the closet and play hide and seek behind Daddy's dress shirts.  I'm sure I'm the only one that does this, right?

And so is life.  There are an unimaginable amount of blessings, gifts, surprises, and vacations hidden behind that dirty diaper.  And though we will have to go through the diaper changing process more times that we would care to admit, there is always something good just around the corner.  And my job is an easy one, I just lay there and let Him help me out.  He doesn't need my assistance (have you ever changed a diaper with toddler fingers in the way?), He'd just like me to stop squirming and to relax.  The process will go very quickly, painless even, if I just give up.

And somewhere down the line, I learn that the quicker I let go, instead of making Him chase me, the quicker I get to the park.  Because, thankfully, His intent isn't to spend a lifetime on the diaper changing table, His intent is to enjoy what's coming afterward.  The diaper change is just a quick step to the fruitfulness the day will hold.

He is a good God.  And He takes good care of us.

Thank Goodness.


(Next blog tomorrow is the practical tips, promise!)

Spirit to Spirit Parenting: Part 1

So, let's just be honest.  When most of us became parents, we didn't know what the heck we were getting into.  When I gave that final push, I had no idea how my life would change.  At the time, I was thanking the Good Lord that my baby was actually outside of my body after 5 days of labor.  I told myself over and over again how I was gonna go natural and how "I" could do it all by myself, and then somewhere between my water breaking and almost smacking my poor, exhausted husband for asking if I needed anything (women in labor are SCARY), I decided "GIVE ME THAT EPIDURAL!"

Since I have never had a drug of any kind other than tylenol, I immediately fell into that deep, sedated place of "Whoa...this is the kind of rest I've been missing?"  And an hour later, I had dilated 5 centimeters and laughed my baby out (not kidding).

This is kinda like this phenomeon I call living out of your spirit.  It's a lot different than living out of your soul.  You know that place you go round and round again in your daily living and your spiritual life? Like contractions that hurt like a mother and barely dilate your cervix? Yes, that's when your soul's in charge.  It doesn't mean there isn't any progress, it just means that the progress is often more painful than it needs to be and it takes forever.  Not to mention, you go round and round and round.  But, that epidural, well, it took me to a whole different place.  My whole being came into a place a rest.  That needle went right into my Central Nervous System, and I progressed like wildfire.  Not to mention, I was much more pleasant to be around. Just ask David.

Now up to this point, I had been nuturing my spirit. I was learning how to develop and celebrate that unique place of Him in me.  And then, I had a baby.  And I quickly realized that I also got the unique privilege of developing and celebrating that unique place of Him in her, from a much earlier starting point.    Considering she had gone through many a less trials in her short life time here on earth, I figured why not get this party started the right way!

David would read blessings over my womb night after night, calling her spirit to the front, bringing her into a place of great rest and acceptance.  And I would hold my belly, feeling her kick in response to the voice of her Daddy...falling right in line with those blessings and knowing that all was right in her little world.

This took an amount of discipline on our part.  We were better at it some days than we were on other days, still learning what it was like for the two of us to live out of our spirits.  But the longer Ella is around, her spirit most up front and active (let's just say babies learn a lot faster than adults!), it opens our spirits to respond to hers.  And we all end up living more vibrant and fulfilling days.  Is that not one of the most fun things about parenting? The fact that it is a mutual relationship of giving and receiving, making each one of us more whole and alive. I just LOVE that.

And further more, it makes mistakes much more easy to deal with. I know there is no way to be the perfect parent, we will mess up.  But as Ella's spirit grows and is nurtured, our mistakes make less of a dent.  Yes, there is still apologizing and forgiveness involved, but it hurts a lot less when someone does something to wrong you when your spirit is healthy and full.  If you know who you are and Who you belong to, a mistake becomes...well...a mistake and not a lifetime of woundedness to work out and drudge through like a bitter soul entangled in fear and resentment.  Ever heard of the term "No skin off my back?" Yes, exactly.

Now, of course, I've painted a pretty picture above.  And most the time it is, well, pretty.  But there are days when our patience is low and our energy is lacking, and this is not always a "quick fix" to all of life's little trials.  But what I've found is if I take just 10 minutes to quiet myself and allow my spirit to rise above my soul, it is always easier.  And, well, I take that "My yoke is easy and My burden is light" scripture seriously.  And this has helped.  None of my own works.  Just a small step of obedience, allowing His spirit the available space to be first in me, instead of my own will.

And when all of us have our spirits charged up and full, well, family time is just what the doctor ordered.  It's real community and fellowship; it's rich and vibrant, challenging and affirming.  We speak into each other's lives and bring the best out of one another.  Even Howie. ;)

And it works the same way in your marriage, in your workplace, when you get to the window at Starbucks, and when you go about your whole...entire...day.

Some of you have been asking about some practical ways to do this......coming up soon!