Detox.

Nothing quite says deliverance like a bought of food poisoning.

I have only had food poisoning twice in my life. Once was less than a year ago. Something tells me that either food is getting worse these days, I'm getting way more sensitive, or both.

I'm hankering on both.

And in the hankering, I bargained with God.  You know what I'm talking about.  Head flung over the toilet, I started repenting for any possible sin that could have creeped into my life because for-the-love-of-God, I just wanted to stop throwing up.  Yeah, that kind.  It was awful. And my fever just finally broke a few hours ago.

The way I see it, God has me graciously shoved in a corner.  I had a dream several weeks ago.  I was driving on a huge bridge.  There was a truck in front of me, and there was a van in the lane to left of the truck.  Without looking, the van merged into the truck's lane.  The truck (being struck by the van) flew off the bridge, and I watched it catapult to what seemed would definitely be death.  All I remember when I woke up was hearing a voice that said, "Stay in your lane!!"

And immediately after that dream, my boundaries started to tighten up.  You know when you start to get angry because someone stepped in your space? Ah, yes. That. Anger in this regard isn't wrong, it just usually shows me that I need to re-evaluate some things.  I tried to think of practical ways to "stay in my lane". Where did I find myself most annoyed? And then it hit me.

The Facebook Status Feed.

I love Facebook. I LOVE that I get to see my friend's kiddos grow up. I love that I can pray for friends who are having a hard day and celebrate with others who are having a great day. I am a people person. And, yet, call me crazy...but somehow I've ended up with some insane "friends".  And, you know what, now they're now driving ME insane.  I get on the computer to see one of those funny Panda sneezing videos that will make me laugh, only to get bombarded by 50 statuses about politics, about a hundred more about chicken, and even more pictures that people took of themselves with their phone in the bathroom.  And I finally realized....I can't handle this.

I needed some alone time.

In the midst of all of the clutter in my status feed, I knew it was time to get my book on paper.  I kept being drawn to it--and then distracted by how annoyed I was at the last article someone posted about Monsanto's GMO's. And you know, there's nothing worse than a creative block caused by your own lack of self-control to step away from the crazies.  If I didn't get this book on paper, I was gonna die.  If I didn't stop hearing about how Obama made his own flag for his campaign, I was gonna die. So, I ditched my status feed until I could get some serious writing done (and until elections are over).

I have to say, it has been quite liberating. I don't think I've been annoyed at all in the last week.  And, I've written a chapter of my book. Touche!

I have a mama friend who once said that when you don't release what's inside of you, your body actually becomes toxic.  So true. This book has been brewing in my blood for the last six years (if not my whole life), and though I've taken many steps forward in it's progression, I finally got to the point where the preparation was complete. I have everything I need to write it.  Now, I just had to actually do it.  Kind of like a detox. You buy all your lemons and maple syrup and cayenne pepper, and then, you muster up the courage to take a drink. And it's time.

Not to mention, all the toxicity I absorbed from my status feed also had to get out. We like to think that that stuff doesn't make long term effects on us, but it does.  Every snide, ugly, angry remark gets programmed into my DNA.  And the only way for me to get it out was to turn it off.

Interestingly enough, as soon as I did this and then as soon as I wrote a chapter of my book, I started throwing up. Detox central.  My guess is that what I just experienced can only be compared to what it feels like to detox drugs. As my body shook and my head beaded with sweat, I often thought about people in rehab. Is this what that's like?  When we don't want to face our pain, we just numb it?  And at some point, if we want to really live, we have got to throw up?

So throw up I did.  There was nothing left in my body. Nothing.

In the process, I literally thought I might die. I had several flashes of myself in the hospital with IV bags.  Thankfully, it didn't get that far.

But you know what?

When my fever broke at 3am and when I woke up this morning, I felt like a brand new person.  I had all this joy because life really is good, and I didn't have to stay in stomach bug central.

Even though I would have preferred to detox a different way, this way definitely worked.  And my palate feels really, really clear.  I feel the creative energy to take more than baby steps now.  It feels more like full out flying.  And, for me, the first steps are always the hardest.  Now that those are pushed behind, I'm looking forward to what's coming.  You know it's gonna be good when it starts out like that.

No pain, no gain.

So, what's in your heart to do?  What is brewing that you really want to move forward into? What's distracting you?  What has become toxic?  Sometimes things that were life in one season become toxic in the next, and we are then faced with a choice. I tend to be the loyal type; it's sometimes hard for me to make those choices when it means stepping away from people or activities.  And yet, when I finally muster up the courage, it's always so much better.

All that to say, Happy Sunday!  I'm looking forward to eating something today.  Something that won't make me sick. :)

Alternative Solutions

In light of recent terrorist attacks on our Embassies and endless political rants everywhere, there seems to be a common thread when tragedy strikes or when someone we don't like may get elected or re-elected into the White House.  We get scared.  And it's obvious when we are scared--because we start to fight.  It's the fight or flight reflex.  Some people choose to go balls to the wall (yes, I said it), and yell at anyone who disagrees while also defaming the "other side".  And some people choose to just say nothing.

I personally don't think either side works long term. Anger or escaping may give us a sense of power in the moment, and sometimes both are needed.  However, if we want to change anything for the long haul, we need to use our voices.  I say "our voices" not in a snide "This-is-who-I-am" way, but in a "I-want-to-contribute-way".  We have not understood what it really looks like to have a powerful voice.  We've fallen prey to the Victim Mentality, and I seriously HATE the Victim Mentality.  It steals all that a child of God posesses or is on quest to posess.  When believed, it turns people who were created to be Champions into whiny, wimpy, complainers.  And then, it attracts even more devastation.  It's ugly and vicious and relentless...until we make a choice to stop it.

And that is what I'm proposing.

I'm tired of blocking people in my Facebook feed because they only choose to argue or dishonor one another in the name of "politics".  I'm also tired of having to cut people out of my life who cause drama or who make unkind decisions because of their lack of maturity.  Let's grow up.  Let's be a community, a real one.  Let's take a stand, and let's get back what we've lost.

Again, that doesn't mean fighting. Fighting is derived from a sense of powerlessness. We're better than that.  From what I can see in my little chair, there are several issues that seem to strike the politics cord more than others.  And by politics, I mean anything that strikes in us a fear to perform, people please, argue, rant, overcompensate, defame, or kill one another.  Jesus said if we hold evil toward our brother, we have killed in our heart.  We cannot fully blame Jihad terrorists when we do the same thing to one another.  We are just as guilty.  We desperately need to stop looking at this life in a temporary way but in an eternal way.  Life on Earth is not The End.  When we believe that it is, we give way to fear and unrighteous anger.  When we realize that we were ultimately made for what is BEYOND this, we can let go.  We can grieve and work through sadness until Joy starts busting down our walls. It is our choice; it is always our choice. It has always been our choice.

The world isn't going down the tubes because God doesn't love us, it's being shaken because He absolutely does love us.  We need to see things from His perspective.  We've created our own mess, and though thankfully we don't have to lay in it forever (if we so choose), we do have to take responsibility---and then receive the Grace to make things better.  He didn't die for nothing.  This isn't the End of the Story, it's just The Beginning.  Remember? He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.

I realize that some people say "Ok, fine, but I have no idea how to do that." Ok then.  Here are some small solutions to gaining power back into our lives.  If you want to bring Heaven on Earth, I have some Alternative Solutions--because utimately Love Wins ( I loved that book, by the way. Read it twice).

Let's start with the hot topic of the century, Life.

If you consider yourself pro-life and are saddened by the abortion debacle, here are a few ways I have found power in creating and bestowing Life in my midst.  I give my children a place of honor.  We don't just save a life from abortion, we steward that life well throughout his or her lifetime.  Find ways to watch your child flourish; it will indeed enhance your perspective on love.  We spend a lot of time dishonoring our kids by not listening to them, pushing them aside to do whatever it is we think is important, and not valuing who they are and what they have to contribute.  If that seems to be going well, consider adoption or foster care.  If adoption doesn't work in your current life situation, then consider giving to those who do.  I have handfuls of friends who have adopted or who foster kids; I can give you their address, and you can send them a check.  Many of them have used their own funds to buy back children from society's "unwanted pile".  If you don't have money but you have time, consider blessing a single mother.  I'm sure you can find one.  If you can't, let me know, because I know single mothers who are not only single, but they are also adopting kids.  Talk about making a difference. We are not powerless.  We are waiting to give birth to real Life.

While we are waiting, why don't we also take in those that have had abortions and regret it (instead of shoving it in their faces).  Abortion hurts not only the baby but also the mother.  Why don't we take the plank out of our own eye while we nurture the speck in our neighbor's eye.  That IS in the Bible.  If we choose to believe the Bible is true, well then, we choose to believe it is true.  Correct?  We don't get anywhere without nurturing one another through nurturing our selves.  Self-hate and hate for others has no place in Heaven, and we are creating Heaven on Earth.  I believe that those babies who didn't make it on this side of things aren't trying to punish their mother's for misunderstanding their worth--but are instead praying that they would get a chance to see how loved they are here and now. (The Kingdom of God belongs to children.)  If mothers could see that, abortion wouldn't happen in the first place.  It's all about the Victim Mentality.  There's a devil on every shoulder trying to convince us that we have no other choices.  Women to do have a choice.  We ALL have a choice. Life isn't just about women, it's about all of us.  We need to stop blaming each other and start helping each other.

If you're a man, and you don't know how you could possibly speak into the life of a recovering victim of abortion, then perhaps you could find a Big Brothers Club.  I bet there are a ton of kids who would love a Fathering role model.  One game of basketball a week could mean turning a child into a president instead of a drug pusher.

I could go on and on with lists of alternative solutions to just this one topic (which I believe is the start of everything), but I'm sure you can think of some of your own.  Ultimately, though, my heart grieves for the fact that we've turned our lives into arguing with one another when it's never really about us.  We fight not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities in dark places (another Bible verse). Let's hate what needs to be hated, the destruction of the beauty of God's creation.  Let's love one another.

If we want to be angry, then let's make our anger legitimate. We are not victims, we are children of God.  All of us.

And when we understand that, we can steward Life.

Our Greatest Creations

We've already gone over the Boathouse "Rules" for a lack of better terminology, but I still can't sleep at night.  And neither can Lucy...which means that there is still more to uncover.  And as kids usually do, I guess we all need to start seeing and telling the Truth a little more. Yet again, my applause goes out to Ella Junebug for starting this whole sequence of blogs, and I give thanks for my Lucy Joy for picking up the baton for the next few rounds.

And credit they deserve---because this blog is about them.

If we're going to be a family and if we're going to respect our elders, then we need also love and nurture our kids. In addition to caring for them, it'd also be extremely wise if we started to listen to what they are saying.  These little prophets have much more to say than "goo goo" and "gaa gaa". In fact, most of the time when we think they're not being "obedient", they're really revealing to us what we're too busy and distracted to hear.  For example, let's take Lucy's sleep schedule. We've been working on developing her nap routine during the day. If I stray from this nap routine, she ends up being cranky and fussy. And then what happens? I get cranky and fussy.

Until I sit and listen to what she is telling me.

What she's saying is she needs some real Rest. And don't we all.

So instead of forcing my child into my over-scheduled day, I slow down. She has just taught her Mama a lesson. And instead of being offended because I didn't "know it all", I decide to suck up that delicious scoop of grace right now. Thank you, Lucy, for teaching me how to Live. I'm sorry for accidentally dragging you down to this world's way of doing things.

It's a picture that we desperately need to see for the love of our children and for the Hope of a future. Our kids don't need any more debt stacked up against them. To be quite frank (and perhaps so "over dramatic"), there isn't time for our kids to be digging themselves out of the holes we've made for them. They are worth more than that, and so are we. Oh, if we could humble ourselves and apologize to our kids every so often, this world would be in a better place. We need present fathers and rested mothers. Present Father's express love and wise discipline, rested Mother's nurture hearts and create life.

It has been my greatest pleasure in this Life to co-create two lives with the love of my life--and then have the privilege of stewarding their giftedness.  And that's exactly what they are, a gift. On loan, sent from Heaven. When I have to "teach" Ella to obey, it doesn't as much reflect her character as it does mine. What is she saying to me? About 90% of the time, her reactions are the result of my behavior. Am I stewarding her Life well by choosing to Live mine? It's definitely worth a glance. Kids are mimics and responders. They either react out of Love or out of Rebellion.

Somehow we've seemed to blame this entitled generation for their rebellion and yet haven't taken into account that they have never been shown any other way.  We over-schedule them, over-immunize them, take them to fifteen extra-curricular activities, then we make them take standarized tests so we can compare them with one another. What have we done? We've turned them into celebrities instead of into artists, and we've given them permission to be politicians instead of understanding the role of government.  Instead of complaining that our children have no role models on TV or in the White House, we need to look at the man in the mirror. The world doesn't have to go to hell in a handbasket.  Why not start the change in us? Let's give our kids the opportunity to be kids.

And while we're at it, let's teach them how to pray for those in high places that haven't gotten a childhood. The Lindsay Lohan's and the Barack Obama's. If you don't agree with their lifestyle choices, fine. I don't agree with all of them either. And we don't have to, but let's just remember that they are part of the fatherless club.  And no one deserves that.  We can either bridge the gap, or we can make a canyon. It's our choice. Let's teach our children to do right by the lives we live.   Let's give them a chance to be history makers because we took a good look at our own deficits.

Let's listen to what they're saying...because they're a lot smarter than we may think.  We aren't parents  primarily because kids need to learn how to obey, we're parents so we can access unseen grace for our own lives, and we can then joyfully steward the unique expressions of Love within them.

Thank you Ella Junebug and Lucy Joy.  I am forever transforming by your Love offering of Grace...

Family Matters.

"Did I do thaaaaaaat?" One of my favorite characters ever. With one small swoop of innocence, all that anger, hostility, impatience, and frustration that Carl held onto got sent right to disaster.  But you know what? Carl ended up turning out better afterwards. More loving and caring and kind.

So...

Now that we've talked about our boat, we need to talk about Family. Because you see, if we're all going to live on this boat together.....well, we need to get along.  And first off, getting along does not mean we need to always like each other.  It does, however, mean that we need to love each other.

When a lot of people are crammed into a small space, it's pretty easy to find out where one's boundaries are.  When I start getting agitated, exhausted, or irritable, it's time for some space. I go get some air on deck, or I go do something to get rid of the negative energy.  The last thing I want to do is stay in the place I'm irritated, unless I want to eat humble pie later.  No thanks. Been there, done that.

So, here are the basic Ark Rules:

Observation One: The Trinity. He/She/ They're the Boss.

Reminder Number Two: Don't be trying to turn that Trinity into anything else. Particularly something you WANT them to be.  That's how we got on this boat in the first place, remember?

Third piece of Ark Advice: Do you remember the story of Moses and The Burning Bush?  Moses had to look aside, take off his sandles, and worship.  God then revealed to Moses that He was "I AM". I AM.......everything. There is one Provider on this boat, and like Observation One says, He's the boss. Don't take it for granted by trying to save yourself. It won't work, and you'll eat the humble pie AGAIN. Accept the free gift, and just say thanks.

Fourth rule of the Ark: Please Rest. We don't need anyone overworked and underpaid. We are in close quarters.  Your grumpiness affects the rest of us. If you can't rest, then feel free to go swimming for awhile.  A Sabbath was created on purpose. It's not only for our pleasure, but for our sanity (and everyone else's!).

Fifth boat rule, be nice to your mom and dad.  If your mom and dad are on this boat, then they helped pave the way.  Don't take all the credit thinking you got in this boat by yourself.  People laid down their very lives for us to be able to turn a piece of wood into a sailing ship.  Respect your elders.

Sixth suggestion for the Swimming Sea: Before you say something, think.  Before you lose your temper, take a breath.  Don't say or do anything stupid that you'll regret later. Do we have to talk about humble pie again? We all have to live on this boat together, so let's find a way to build one another up not tear one another down.  If you have a problem with a person, please remember that said person has a story, too.  Let's be honest. We all act nutty sometimes because we've been hurt, rejected, abandoned, etc. So, in order to be responsible Ark citizens, let us each take time to question why we are really angry.  After doing so, it might be good to ask the offensive person a question about what you're feeling instead of throw out a "You" statement. Ya know, "You did this to me, You did that to me, You're so blah blah blah." Because let's just be honest, that NEVER works. No throwing stones. No killing each other.

Seventh Ark idea: Don't be looking at or stealing anybody else's lover. This boat calls for monogamy. If you don't like your mate, you better go back to Observation One. (Is anyone catching on yet?)

Eighth rule of Boat Business: Don't take anything that ain't yours.  If someone has something you want or you think you need, perhaps ask them how they might have worked so hard to get it.  If they received it as a gift, thank God that there are still generous people in this boat-making time in history.  But whatever you do, don't take it. It's not yours. It's theirs.  If they want to give it to you out the the graciousness in their hearts, then be thankful, and look for how you can do the same for someone else later.

Ninth Ark Initiative: Don't be spreading rumors. We've each worked hard for the lives we live.  If you don't like the way another person is living, don't you dare say something to make fun of, harass, or defame them.  Remember? Revenge never wins. Love never fails.  Love covers a multitude of sins.  On the Ark, we stick up for people who are being unjustly slandered.  And if someone is doing wrong, we help them do right.  If we can't help them do right, then we keep our mouths shut, and we let someone else help them do right.  But don't put your brother's sins on display, and stand up for those who are being falsely accused.

Tenth Boat Bullet: There is no room for jealousy, control, manipulation, or anything like it.  If you find that you are in any way offended by someone on the boat--whether because they have hurt you or because you are just envious of what they have--it is best to just to sit on down.  After you take a seat, it's good to go back to Rule #6.  We already covered intentional offenses. Now, let's cover jealously.  Because Lawd knows jealousy in the church is rampant. We've got a lot of people fighting for spotlight.  Suffering servants? Haven't seen many of those.  What I do know, though, is that Suffering Servants end up Ressurrecting from the Dead.  And when they do, the ones who have not yet lived can come out with claws. And it ain't pretty. Ever been in the high school cafeteria when two of those rough girls got into a cat fight? I have. Scared the poop out of me. If someone is favored, bless them.  They paid a price for it.  And I'll say it again, if someone is favored, bless them. If you have any inkling of jealousy or you think you know better then said favored person, don't open yo' mouth to try to pray them better. You know what's worse than a black witch stirring up soup in a huge cauldron? Jealous Christians trying to "fix", upstage,  or pray for one another out of their own insecurity.  I have a headache just thinking about it. We've gotta live on this boat together.  Bless the ones who are leading or who may be taking a different cabin assignment than you. If you're gonna be jealous, then be jealous all the way to Jesus. He's the one who made them that way anyway.


Wow. I feel better. Did anyone else just hear God telling Moses the Ten Commandments with a slight Southern drawl?



Happy Travels. May we be the Family God intended us to be........

Gone Fishin'.

I'm feeling a little bit straight-forward this morning, so straight-forward I shall be.

I haven't written a "new" blog in quite awhile.  God has actually been taking me back to blogs that I have already written and re-directing me from there.  He says so slyly, "Hey Sarah, remember that?" And then after re-reading what I wrote, I surprisingly say "Well, yes, I do!" Isn't it interesting how our lives go through phases and cycles?

Sometimes we're like onions, He shows us one layer at a time.

And, well, all I have to say is that this layer has been a doozy.  Or maybe I should say layers.  The last few months have been a little bit bipolar.  One day I find myself climbing up a mountain, the next day I'm at the top.  The following day I'm at the bottom of another mountain, and the next day I'm at the top.  It's the Acceleration of God. The Bride is making herself ready.

And the rest of the world, well, seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.

It's hauntingly beautiful.  This dance we dance. Throwing off what shackles us and grabbing hold of what lays before us. Freedom. Life. Heaven on Earth.

Now some may say I'm over-dramatic.  And, yes, I do love the theatre. In fact, I LOVE the theatre.  But, no, I'm not being over-dramatic.  The way I see it, if I believe the Bible is true, well...then I believe the Bible is true.  And though I do know that the Bible has been interpreted incorrectly often, I also know that when it is read through the lens of Love, it is absolutely liberating.

And thus leads to me to being straightforward.  And, as per usual, I would like to give credit to my sweet little prophet of daughter, Ella Junebug, for leading the way. (A child will lead them. Isaiah 11:6)

You see, the girls and I have been watching Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue.  And, Ella, is very passionate when it comes to her favorite lines; One of which is "We're gonna build a boat!" I highlight this in BOLD because this line is shouted in our house, followed by the loudest and sweetest giggles you've ever heard. But you know what? She's onto something...

Ella has been very interested in boats the last year or so. She's taking a liking to that Noah guy--and "bainbows". Her sensitive spirit is so eager to hear what God is saying, and that's often why He chooses to speak to her.  There is no striving or fasting or lamenting, she just hops right into the heart of God. She knows how to Rest.  She knows whose kid she is.  And you know what? She has a Daddy who loves her, and dotes on her, and provides for her.

Unfortunately, many in our world don't know this kind of relationship with their Father. I won't even go into the statistics of how many fatherless kids there are in our country and how many single moms are exhausted and forced into heavy-labor. Just look at the entitlement and the rebellion of the younger generation.  It proves what I'm saying.

And even more so, without present fathers and without rested mothers, there is no place for our kids to be nurtured.  We need to understand this.

And, so, we need to build a boat.

God tells Noah "Build a boat. Save you and your family.  A Flood is coming." Noah looks at God like "Who? Me???"

"Yes, you."

Now I know that those of us who have been burned by bad churchy religion might say that God is punishing us because, well, He is mean.  And that's what mean God's do. That's what mean Dad's do.  And, yet, those of us who have the had the lifechanging experience of accepting the loving discipline of Dad know differently.  It's His kindness that leads us to repentance.  We obey because we are safe within His laws.  Floods come because we have chosen to make our own laws--and we make our own laws because we don't know the goodness of Father.

It's an ugly cycle.  I don't know that I am fully accepted, and so I "sin". I control, I manipulate, I get jealous, I get angry, and I get even.  And where does this lead? FLOOD.

On the contrary, the Bible is full of promises.  Instead, it looks something like this.  I was created fully accepted, I got confused, I messed up, I receive God's kindness through grace, I take responsibility, and I hop on that dang boat! And while I get ready to sail on the high seas, I start looking for anyone who might want to come with me....and I invite them in.

Society has it backwards.  We don't invite people in by our rage, or our control, or our pilthy statements about politics on Facebook.  If you're building a boat, you don't play politics.  You play Love.  It doesn't mean you don't have an opinion.  It doesn't mean you don't say what you think.  Please, by all means, say something.  We don't need our greatest Voices hiding in the bushes---but what we do need is leaders who are building boats, not leaders who are trying to get even.



Revenge never wins.  Love never fails.



And so............I have resolved that....


"We're gonna build a boat!"



(To be continued....)